Big Changes

Mar. 9th, 2010 02:14 pm
child_of_the_fae: (Default)
Backstory:
I recently attended Convocation.org in Troy, MI. For those who are familiar with my journal I've posted about this con before and it is never a walk through the park. This time around proved to be just as challenging and growth oriented.

This years focus was on the tarot card “The Tower”. The quick and simple of it is the destruction of the things we have built up and clearing ground for new things.

It's not uncommon for regular convocation goers to experience the theme of the card of that year throughout their life for that year. This year was no exception from this for me. My life had been pretty thoroughly turned upside down and shaken to bits a few times over.

The end ritual at the end of convocation to signify the end of the tower was very powerful. A few weeks later there is then another ritual to finalize the switch over to the next card “The Star”.

What this means now:
A little under 3 weeks ago I had a moderately stable job and an idea of how to migrate slowly away from it. I have received news this past Thursday that in 3-6 months depending on the hiring process my job will be phased out. This means that I will be out of a job.

My original plan had included slowly switching over to being a professional DJ until I could finally support myself with it full time. The change of plans has left me rather amiss and overall disoriented. It's hard to decide what to do.

I seem to have 3 main options available to me at this moment. They are:
  • Find a new job in the field of IT. (Downside: There is an oversaturated market of IT folks)(Upside: Healthcare, Higher initial pay, potential job security)
  • Pursue the professional DJ track full force and dedicate all my effort to that. (Downside potential poverty/joblessness/no healthcare)(Upside: Its something I love doing, There are signs showing there is a large demand for what I am going for, Substantially better hours, Eventually could be making large sums of money working full time)
  • Try to pursue a balance of the two. (Downside: Lack of resources would lead to a half assed result and has strong potential of failure due to lack of concetration of time/energy)(Upside: If one fails I have the slim possibility of being abl to use the other to stablize and recover myself)

At this point I am at a loss of what I am going to do. However I thought it would be worth at least recording that this is the dilemma I am in.

I am hoping to update again soon, but for now here is your yearly Alexa update :P

TTYAL
-Alexa
child_of_the_fae: (Default)
(See that time on this post up at the top? that says I am writing this way to fucking early for a well done post. My apologies dear readers, I'll just have to chop this post up later in the little editing machine.)

To start this off I want to share one of my favorite quotes over the weekend. "you better watch out that person's got the khep".

I keep having snippets of the con show up in my head as I process everything that happened, little moments all coming together to make one larger "click"

One of the primary things that was being worked on behind the scenes from what I mentioned in my previous post was that there was a substantial amount of shadow work being done. Thats just not for myself, it was the whole theme of the con. However I have to say I did face a lot of it.

Part of it ended up with me facing my own judgements on those who drink alchohal. This ended up being a really personal issue but it boiled down to me getting a very different view point than I've ever really gotten and I am still processing it all. The end being though that I can be judgemental as all hell and I got a smack upside the head to grow up.

Another reoccuring theme that came up was dealing with my own social awkwardness reflected in other people. It was really amazing seeing my own traits reflected in so many people. This go around though it was about me judging myself for my own qualities which are inherent to myself, and what I can do to improve on them if I wish. As well as the recognition that sometimes I just am an awkward person and that will be part of me until I grow past it and no matter how hard I shove I won't move past it until I am ready.

All in all I could probably write a good sized chapter on everything that happened at con but I am not feeling up to writing that much(see top of post.... early... >_>). One last thing for the time though about con. I never mentioned the fact of how grateful I am to [livejournal.com profile] rainbowravenx  for offering me a place to crash during the con. Thanks hun, I would have had a hell of a hard time getting everything to work out right if weren't for that.

I was going to do a post about the club experience on monday and stuff, but I've run out of time so another post to come later.

-Alexa


child_of_the_fae: (Default)
Well I am back from the crazy event of convocation.

Overall I have to say that this Convo was pretty intense. Oddly enough it had to deal with sorting out a lot of physical issue's that I needed to face.

In the end everything that happened made a lot of sense, to no small amount because this Convo was dedicated to the devil card and the resolution of shadow work.

I am still processing a lot of what happened so I can't really give a ton of commentary.

Although I can say this, I've learned that drinking if one is going to drink at all should only be done in moderation >_<. I also owe a great deal of gratitude to [livejournal.com profile] bluewindkitsune and Nicole who helped with that whole situation.

I also got a chance to visit with [livejournal.com profile] coldironkiss who I haven't seen since the Gather back in the summer. She was kind enough to give a ride out to steak & shake for food and was great company through the con.

[livejournal.com profile] sethanikeem as always put on some fantastic panels and talks.

Speaking of which [livejournal.com profile] gesigewigus and [livejournal.com profile] spiral_fire did a knock out job on the energy body readings. It was one of the most comprehensive talks I've heard on the subject yet, and I really hope to see more work done on that subject with the two of them.

I was somewhat sad that there wasn't a workshop on the khep style ritual this go around, but after everything that happened I am grateful that it didn't as I would have probably been too fried for it.

There were also a bunch of other people that I got to meet and visit with and it was great seeing you all.

Energy Crap Below )

That about sums up the con. Thanks everyone who could make it, and those who couldn't hope to see you at the gather in May.

-Alexa

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September 2012

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