Alive

Nov. 2nd, 2009 12:11 pm
child_of_the_fae: (Default)
I'm alive

My trip has been postponed indefinitely for a variety of reasons.
  •     G/F
  •     Lack of Funds
  •     Unfortunate family problems
  •     I am overall needed here right now

I am going to be starting up classes in january if all goes well for massage therapy. It will be a 16 week course and I'll be coming out with a certification that will allow me to practice legally in michigan.

I am hosting an energy work class/workshop/cuddlepile at my apartment monthly. When there are enough people we may start rotating the group so that different people don't have to drive so far every time. If you would like to attend please contact me for details.

Please if you don't see me post here more regularly, feel free to poke at me, as I often have just been forgetting.


TTYAL and awesome if your still reading this ;)

-Alexa
child_of_the_fae: (Default)

My goodness, I think I am actually getting a post in before the full blown 2 week mark. I am going to take that as a sign of improvement and ignore the fact that this is going to just be another monster post.

Work:
Well To be honest things with work have been relatively quiet at work, much to my gratitude. Namely I would attribute it to the fact that my boss has been out of the office this week which has made things substantially more bearable and easy going.

On a spiritual note my modifications to my shields and filters has impacted things in a rather good way. I am able to withstand and deal with a lot more and overall I am holding my boundaries in ways that even a month or two ago I would have had a great deal of difficulty with. One positive thing I have to say about this place is that it’s fantastic for training those shielding muscles.

On a tech oriented note with this, the big change I made was the imagery I was using. Instead of going with the classic new age "colored light" or even using other people’s imagery. Instead I used a more bio/organic view using the shadow stuff that I sometimes see my energy body constructed of, and that made a rather huge difference. (for my geek/energy worker readers, think of it sort of as a combination between venom's symbiot and Alucards shadow stuff from hellsing.... yes I'm a geek what of it? :P)

Gypsy Alexa Tour 2009-???
I've noticed that I haven't made any official record as far as I can tell on LJ of this. Basically I am going to be leaving Michigan sometime around mid October after ConClave. This will almost definitely involve me leaving my current place of employment and surviving off from street performance and the like.

At first I'll be doing a solo trip to visit a number of people that I've needed to meet with for quite a while. In addition to this I'll also be doing some side trips to help do some outreach involving the Kherete project. Though that’s still rather quite tentative.

So far states that I'll be visit on the east coast version will be Vermont, New York, New Jersey, Maryland North Carolina, Georgia, and Florida. For those of you who read this and want me to drop by, speak up to get on the list. I'll need places to crash on the way too so feel free to speak up heh.

The travel down time I am giving is about a month to get all the way down to Florida to visit people. After I arrive in Florida I am thinking I'll probably spend a month down there. That will bring me to the time of ConFusion 2010. I'll be heading back up for that and then from there be heading out west with another friend and current roommate tentatively to do some traveling performance. The places currently marked for a likely visit out west are New Mexico, (possibly New Orleans), and Austin TX. Eventually I may swing out to visit Denver and AZ folks if they want the company.  These are just the tentative plans though. More to come on this as things develop.

Psychic Fair Readings
I've been rather pleased with how things have been going with the readings, and I'll probably sign up for at least a few more weekends to do shows. It's been a fantastic training ground and I have also recently started finally making a profit. So quite simply things are looking promising. They started off a bit slow on the first day, but I had a very definite feeling that it was to give me a chance to get use to how everything worked at the fair and know the people.

I will post upcoming fair dates and more info as I confirm them.

WorldCon 2009 dream goes poof
The title is pretty self explanatory. It's looking like making worldcon work isn't really going to happen sadly. I was really looking forward to working with K and seeing what could be made to make a touring group work. There is still a small chance things could change to allow for it to happen. At this very moment though hopes for making it happen at the moment are a bit dim.

Mich Ren Fair 2009
So far I've been toying with the idea of working Mich Ren fest this year. I am going to be putting in an application to Pendragons clothing and see if I can get in working with them. Some of the benefits being that it will be good training for working on my presentation skills and they do pay. The downside to this is I wouldn't be able to work the psychic fairs at the same time, but I do think it is a worthwhile trade. As with so many other things right now more news on this is TBA, but looking hopeful on this one.

Romance Update
Things have been rather eventful in this realm of things, and I would be remiss to not mention it. Things with Rhys have gone well, and I've considered pursuing something more serious with her. However I have a lot to sort out with this including the fact that I am leaving state for a decently long time. Although I was originally very cautious about things with her, she has grown on me over time.

As for things with Shiny, she has been rather busy. Though it is good busy it means that I haven't gotten to really talk to her much. This does make me sad, though with luck she'll be back online in another week or two. I would definitely like to hang out again some time, though arranging a meet up just now doesn't seem very feasible for a number of reasons. 

Finally and certainly not least K has been rather exceptionally busy. Plus her net has been acting up quite a bit. Things two combined have led to a good deal of distance which has been rather sad. Though I recently had the opportunity to introduce her to Second Life which she was rather quite amused with. It also gave us some much appreciated hang out time. I would definitely like to spend more time with her, but for now I'll take what I can get as she is generally super busy.

Bellybutton Piercing
So I've been giving some serious thought to my next bodymod. So far a bellybutton piercing is on the top of the list of what to get piercing next. What are peoples thoughts on this?(and yes I am doing it for myself, but I also like other peoples thoughts on the matter to help balance out my own views).

Well I think this wraps up this months bi-monthly update, here's hoping that I'll get another post up next week.
Till Then TTYAL
-Alexa

child_of_the_fae: (Default)
I have to say I am in an exceptionally weird state of mind. Not sure why entirely, but I figure it has something to do with having been so ill as of late. I always seem to get bitten by the bug of creativity right after being ill. Probably something to do with pent up creative energy or something.

Ugh I can't get my mind to focus for anything right now.

I ended up comming down with a rather nasty stomach bug recently after eating some Jimmy John's. That sucked rather horribly, or more rather blew.... a lot... I'll save you all my colorful explatative laden rendition and just it to I was rather angry at them for serving food that got people sick.

Aside from that Gatorade although somewhat icky tasting sometimes, is an absolute godsend sometimes. Electrolytes + Carbs + Water = Not dying from sick

I got to see my lovely Xandi again last night even though I was quite pathetic looking. It was rather nice to get to see her, I was starting to miss her a good deal.

I also got to get food. Haven't been shopping in a bit and it was showing quite a bit in the cupboards. It was pretty astounding as I was able to get a good deal amount of food for not that much. I was rather happy with myself. Also grocery list FTW

I am hoping to get laundry done either tonight or tommorow. I am feeling pretty exhausted so it might end up being a tommorow thing, but it's definitely needing to be done.

Also as a bit of blatant foreshadowing with no explanation I may be looking at moving upcomming within another month or two. More details to come later on that.

um.... Yeah brain so shot, and trying to look productive at work...

TTYAL

-Alexa
child_of_the_fae: (Default)

POST EDITED FOR CLARITY:

Work has eaten my brain like zombies.

I am trying to minimize my online activity while at work so I haven't been able to post quite as much as I would like to. I've been spending 10-12 hours a day at work to make up for the time I lost while I was sick.

What time I haven't been spending at work I've been spending with Xandi. I have to say that girl has captured my heart in some pretty quick order. To be honest I am pretty happy for that too. Life is good yes, I don't need a person necessarily for it to be good, but I must say that she has taken an already good thing and taken it so past that it blows my mind. Love you hun :)

So with a lot of my time being taken up its no wonder that I haven't gotten to spend much time at home as of late. in contrast though I've found it hard to manage my energy there as of late. It mostly has to deal with sharing the space there on an energetic level.

I am currently sharing my space with someone and unfortunately they haven't been able to spend as much time at the apartment as of late. This has been causing some snafus on my side of things and trips me up a bit on keeping my energy set up and clean. Especially considering we keep both our stuff in the same room. There's been some talk of an eventual change over of space or moving around. Although I have really learned and gained a lot from sharing the space I look forward to eventually having more space, or more really just being able to spend more time at home without dealing with the energy crazy.

On another tangent in my life I have started training more regularly as of late. I've reached a point of critical mass where I can't just hold back anymore. Granted I've also had several people poking me about training more regularly. So all in all peoples look for info about me performing.

I also have a potential photoshoot coming up that people may be interested in. It is going to be a lingerie shibari shoot. Probably with high key lighting and lots of red and white. More info to come later on that.

For a note on my own end of things I officially parted ways with the Peruvian shamanism earlier this week. I haven't talked much about it because it was a very personalized decision that I had to sort out on my own. I think I will always draw from the experiences and growth that I had while doing the shamanism, but at the same time I am somewhat sad to say goodbye to it. It was something that was strongly prominent in my life for nearly 3 years.

It mostly boiled down to an issue where in order to continue I would have had to take my life in a direction that I wasn't really wanting or willing to go.

So I am rather sleepy and hopefully almost down here at work. I've just been waiting for some file transfers to finish between servers....

Until later

-Alexa

child_of_the_fae: (Default)
A note to remember when your friend thinks they have a great fun idea.

Walking a mile in freezing rain and snow in poorly prepared clothing when already exhausted and under-nourished is not the way to stave off the death plague.

No matter if your friend really thinks it is a fantastic idea. Passion on their part does not constitute an override to common sense.


*cough Shudder*

And on top of all that I had a bout of insomnia last night. It just happened to coincide with the first night I've spent away from Xandi in few days. I have this sinking suspicion I may have developed a dependency on sleeping next to her...


Back to trying to function at work..
-Alexa

child_of_the_fae: (Default)
Good greif I am sleepy today. Just one of those days that its taking me a really long time to wake up. I want coffee, but I need to run to the coffee shop for that.... and am at work.... suck...

In other news in my life I have finally burned out on doing IT. Yes it pays fantastic, has job security, and room for advancement. When it comes down to it though, its not the thing for me to do anymore as a profession.

I often feel that I am the sort of person that lives for helping and healing people, and I simply can't accomplish that in tech.

Not to mention working in a manufacturing environment and around lots and lots of electronics isn't the healthiest environment to me.

Ranting aside what I am saying is that I am persueing a career in massage therapy with a lot more zeal than I was previously.  I should be meeting up this sunday with one of the more successful massage therapist I know and having a talk with them on what schools and training they recommend and similar stuff. 

In slew of all this information, I am going to be buying a massage table some time(probably anyway). If anyone has one for sale or similar please feel free to contact me.

Thats the biggest info going on for right now. I am just feeling really burned out from work here and all the tech stuff.

I should get back to work

TTYAL
-Alexa

Panic....

Sep. 12th, 2008 06:11 am
child_of_the_fae: (Default)
I just wanted to say. I am becoming genuinely tired of comming home with a panic attack that last me several hours and leaves me unable to leave the house until roughly my bed time....

This shit sucks....


*sigh*

Time for bed...

TTYAL

-Alexa 

PS: Well hoy crap... >_< so apparently extra stressed Alexa going to bed equals long sweeping epic and vivid dreams of living in hawai which is attacked on several levels(including this incredibly bright sun which only gets brighter, which then starts causing fires.) and is reduced to a state of non-functionality and then leading a renegade band of sangs which either absorb other groups or beat them into death for the sake of protecting the innocents that are being harmed by them.....

I can still remember the taste of blood on my lips from the splatter when I sliced one of the people trying to kill me....

God damn

-Alexa

child_of_the_fae: (Default)
Well this song came on on the radio on my way to work. I was feeling emotionaly wonky so it seems to be fitting my day pretty well.




I am posting the video form of this primarily because I didn't want to post the lyrics.












back to work...


-Alexa
child_of_the_fae: (Default)

My Goodness there is so much to update on.... and probably not a ton of time to take care of it in either, as I am currently at work lol.

First of all, to all of you who have wished me well for my birthday and also who gave me instruction and advice on the issues with the spiders, thank you.

The bug guy was out to the apartment and although there are still -some- spiders, the overall number has been drastically decreased. I also got to see clearly the spiders and although they could have possibly been immature male black widows, or immature female widows, the issue is mostly cleared up now.

Though I do believe I am going to stick to my policy of shaking out my shoes and clothes before I put them on.....

Next up, holy fucking shit there is a <i><b>TON</i></b> of stuff going on right now. 

Lets see... The big stuff right off the top we have the egyptian new year happening, and on top of that there is a full solar eclipse. Two pretty major ones that tied into keeping this week very interesting to say the least. 

Met a few new people at Necto this week. I had an opportunity to balance out my energy need to a degree and also got to have a really good time. One of the people I met I am still rather smitten with(Sa), though I am balancing out to a degree now so I am not quite as bad as I was.... I do like her. We're still in that whole feeling out the other person and stuffs. At the least I imagine she will be a good friend though. 

There was also another girl(Sk) I met who as my friend Yoda described had the "IT" factor for me. The eventual happening that occurs from going to the goth clubs where you run into someone who matches so many of your physical and or mental attractions that your brain is reduced to a puddle of mush and all you can say is "duhh...." Which yes actually happened. However she ended up being more of a person though very attractive physically is in a semi-complicated relationship and moving away among other things. So I will probably keep in touch with her, but I don't think the base compatability is there.

So anyway at the very least the emotional front of everything has not been dull as of late.  I blame it on the universe doing that whole whiping the slate clean for the upcomming year thing but we'll see.

Aside from all those things there also some a number of squares and trines in today's chart clashing.... We'll see how that turns out. I am hoping that it ends up just all smoothing over and being an easy day, or something like that. go trines!!...... 

I think I've rambled on enough

TTYAL
-Alexa

PS: I HAVE BENEFITS FROM WORK NOW!!! WOOO!!!

child_of_the_fae: (Default)
Wow.. so I really need to do updates more often, cause otherwise I am all sucky like.

Hold the pun thoughts till I'm done ^_~

Anyway there is a ton going on in my life, but for the most part everything is finally going on the up and up for me.

For starters the really really big thing thats happened is I have a new apartment/addy now. It was very much needed and it is kind of funny how all the original obsticales to me getting out of my old place got just blown away.

Aside from that great bit, I had to fight off a bunch of spider from my new room. However I did learn through some research that just about any strong essential oil can act as a suffiecient spider repellent. So right now I am using lavender and it was suprisingly effective. Before they were all over the place in my room. After I started really setting up space and spraying around the lavender they split. Will have to remember this.

It is definitely worth mentioning as well that a little over a week ago I had my birthday. Thank you everyone who helped to make that a great day.

Also I have a new phone and it has a camera. I'll occasionally post up pictures from it, but you can find it here. http://www.flickr.com/photos/28629141@N02/ . I created a different account because I really didn't want to cross over my phone cam pics with my portfolio I am trying to put together.

These are the really big notes. I should be finished moving within a week if all goes well so if anyone wants to see the new place let me know ^_^.

I should get back to work. But TTAL and yeah.... YAY NEW PLACE!


-Alexa 
child_of_the_fae: (Default)

I want to do a post where I talk about some of the issues going on in my life. However as a general rule I don't agree with using friend filters, or more specifically I am simply not up for the hassle of trying to make them. So I always end up doing these generic vague post where I don't really say anything except what’s in my own personal symbol set.

Either way main point I am going to be ranting about some stuff that I've decided that I am not going to filter even though if I had the time/energy/drive to put in the filters would probably be behind them.

I don't allow myself to express myself fully. This is of no fault of anyone but my own. I become hit by one inspirational thought or another, and I go to pursue it, and then I completely close up the instant it deals with me letting it out, with releasing it.

I know that it is based around me being afraid of what I am going to create. Of what could be released from me. That fear paralyzes me and disables my creative outlets. Even here on LJ this happens. It's much in the annoying. However this section did serve the useful part of a segway allowing me to chill out long enough to talk about some of the other stuff.

As of late it feels like I've been in a form of heat. The odd thing is I am not therian, I do not identify as kitty kin or whatnot, yet the feeling is still there. More specifically though its been happening at the same time as I've been deeply investigating what to the best of my ability I can describe as my demonic aspects.

For those of you who don't know this about me I am working on my personal paradigm rather heavily as of late, and finding the personal stories/mythos/archetypes/memories that work best for me in bringing me to a point of balance and control of myself. 

The paradigm is focused around that my soul was made from 3 different sources, a piece of each of those sources were given or taken as donor material to make the person I am now. There were then modifications added to the soul which then finalized the procedure and made me a cohesive whole. 

Those sides were Angelic, Demonic, and Fae. Now I understand that this sounds out there and bat shit nuts, and I do not expect anyone to agree with this or to back it up. This is my own paradigm and I am also putting this down for the sake of records.  Each of the three aspects refers (or could be considered connected to) a specific entity of its type.

This is being talked about now because I have recently come to a point where I was able to with some relative clarity identify who the demonic aspect is a part of and how it is a part of me.

All of this could be considered parallel or similar to Jungian shadow work, but the demonic aspect isn't necessarily everything bad about me, or even everything I've rejected about myself. It just is a part of me and is an aspect, not necessarily a rejected part. 

I have officially reached the point of being rather tired so I am done posting for now. But more to come later.

-Alexa

child_of_the_fae: (Default)
So I am taking care of quite a few things all at once but I wanted to take the time to get this post up here.

My new job kicks so much freaking ass its not even funny.... It is completely autonomous and based off from just keeping things up and running and getting things fixed. I am only required to deal with people to the extent that I want to and to whatever extent is needed to fix the problem.

Beyond that its a high security environment so I am getting to learn things left and right about that, as well as its something that I am constantly learning something new about how the networking is set up and how it all flows.

and I get a company laptop that I can install and do with as I please, and I get an office, and I can take breaks whenever I want to.... and and and...

Yeah......

Anyway speaking of job I should start getting ready for work now. But I can say that I will be amazed if I will ever be able to work a job that isn't salary again.... It's just such a different animal then working hourly wage...


-Alexa
child_of_the_fae: (Default)
Bleh I am feeling as it says in the title really sleepy.

Life has been all sorts of crazy, but then again as of late I haven't known my life to be stable ever. As a plus however I have done a decent amount of energy work recently which seems to have had a pretty substantialy beneficial effect so far. I have to remember to get nibbled on every now and then, it does me a lot of good.

Other then that I am getting ready for the upcoming convention Convocation . Which i am pretty excited about all in all.

It lunch time so I need to get heading out here. But just thought I would take some time to put in a quick update.

Also been experimenting with Flock .
Which is this really spiffy web browser. It's still being developed but so far its nifty.

Thats all for now. I am going to get heading out. Btw any of those out there who have a twitter contact me so I can add you. I am progeer on it.

-Alexa
child_of_the_fae: (Default)
Well I figured I should get off my ass and update this poor neglected journal.

There is a lot thats been going on as of late. But the simple of the matter is that I would have been able to get the money together for surgery, but it would have been at a severe detriment to myself as it would have put me so far in debt I would have defaulted on the loan by the time I had the surgery(or at least been in such debt as to extremely mar my record.)

So the unfortunate conclusion that because the person I had trusted to co-sign originally backed out that I am going to have to approach financing from a long term standpoint. Right now the plan is looking at moving to a house and renting it out. With luck things will pan out with a rent to own, and then use the time from renting to further establish my credit. Hopefully reaching a point of being able to outright buy the house with a mortgage and then use it as a line of equity towards surgery.

As well I've been dealing with a lot of internal emotional and spiritual issues as I sort out why I am having the complications and troubles in my life that I am. I am a very strong proponent that the reason things go difficult in life is to teach a specific lesson of some sort or another, and to ignore that is to only bring further difficulties.

I don't plan on going too in depth about some of the exploration that I am doing, but it is worthwhile to note that it is going on.

As an upper note in the life that is me I have a new partner g/f type person being incorporated in the polyamory that I currently am in. I will share more as time progresses. Her name is Amy though and she is an absolute sweetheart(and drop dead to boot). Not to mention a dopleganger in many ways and completely not like me in others.

Things have been going alright with Bella. They could be better if I would be a bit more responsible with balancing things out, but I feel that I am performing to my limits and abilities, so I can only hope things will be ok. (I love you sweetie)

I think thats a pretty good summary for now. Remember people, a boot to the head is a great way to remind me to post more often lol.

I am now off to keep working and draw some stuff. I'll TTYAL

-Alexa


PS: Insomnia blows monkey chunks

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